Ok all I finally got the damn thing working, trying all kinds of things suggested and some other things, not sure what exactly did the trick, but I can tell you there is a setting on my Onkyo saying something like HDMI Audio Out = Yes/No. If i set it to No I get nothing on my screen.

However now the problem I am running into is getting proper audio out of XBMC, if I check either DTS capable, or surround sound capable (i think this is what it is) I get an error when playing movies saying audio device failed to initialize. As of right now I have to leave it set to these being unchecked

I have done a driver update for the nvidia HDMI audio and still does not make a difference. Has anyone else come across this issue and have a solution? I really appreciate all the help!